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why is the attraction so strong?

I’ve had a bad day because any day you start to truely doubt yourself is a bad one.
I feel like I play with fire everytime I come here, yet, everyday I find myself back here again. I find myself having the same thoughts and giving myself the same reminders I always do. I love my husband, my marriage, my family and I love them all deeply. For the protection, security and love they give me. yet here I sit, in the ealry hours, typing out my frustraitions again. Trying to assure myself once again Feeling like a cheater, a liar and a horrible person. Rinse repeat. All in the name of bbc. Something I have never had. Something that isonly for a pleasure, guaranteed to wreck me mentally and for all I know, physically.

What is it? what is the pull? In my life I have absolutely everything I could need. So why is something that I merely desire becoming such a disruptive force on my psyche ? Why does it keep a woman up, out of her husbands bed? out of the fields of vision of her children?

Some days I just wonder who the real me is
why is the attraction so strongwhy is the attraction so strong

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when your gf’s boss from the restaurant is done fucking her mouth and busting a fat black nut all over her face, he let’s her leave early so she can be with her horny black boyfriend. while her bf think she is still at work she get’s to drain her second big black dick of the night.


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